It doesn’t seem hard, right? Get a big freakin olive, stuff it with your favorite savoriness and fry that mother up. It’s small and the directions are straight forward. Plus, Bittman said that anyone can do it. Well, I found someone that cannot do it. This gal.
I did two flavors: straight up mozzarella and an adventure of anchovie, fresh minced garlic and parmesan. I stuffed them, rolled em in flour, then egg, then panko bread crumbs (love panko, thank you japan) and deep fried those lil babies in canola. I was so excited. After 30 seconds in 180 degree oil, I took em out and rested them on brown paper bags which my guy tyler florence said is the best. We tasted. They were oily. Cheese fell out. The outside fell off. They were nasty. I was sad. Total failure.
But I didn’t give up, no siree bob. I said, lemme get all 1990s on this bitch and bake instead of fry. I was positive this would launch my new olive biness. This time, I chose a simple provelone. Then the flour, egg, panko, bake. Yeah… um, a bit better but not for company. B tore his up, but sometimes I suspect he does that just so I keep loving his ass.
I don’t know. What did I do wrong people? Please help a chick who strives to stuff her face with homemade skeelz but who has no money for culinary school.


























