All posts tagged onion

By Jessica | August 6, 2009 | Guest Post, Main Courses, Other People's Recipes | 2 Comments

Hey yall, got another guest post for ya – I told you I have more friends than just B. I asked this dude for a write-up just to trick him into cooking his famous grilled shteck and bacony-vinegary potato salad for my fat ass. I had it once at his joint and it was slammin - had to try to get that shit in my mouth one more time. So don’t be skerd: read it, comment on it, share it, and take your hands outside your pants long enough to cook it. (Also, peep the mo photos but dont get used to that shit – I am way too lazy and hungry to snap and share that many.)

Grilled Flank Steak in Teriyaki Sauce

By Jessica | July 11, 2009 | Guest Post, Main Courses, Other People's Recipes, Recipes | 3 Comments

Howdy. I’m K. Longtime pal, and co-hanger outer of J & B. J has been asking me for ages to write a guest post. In fact, she’s been kind of a P in the A about it. But hey, my laziness is no match for her persistent nagging. So, buckle your seatbelts, because guess what,…Today Is The Day.

The short of the short is this. A few years back, I read, and instantly forgot, a recipe for shredded pork tacos. Sometime later, remembering only two elements about it 1) the meat was pork shoulder 2) it included apricot preserves, I decided to make the rest up.

Not only did I not embarrass myself, but it was even considered a hit. I’ve done it many more times since, tweaking and adjusting each time.

Fast forward to last Saturday’s 4th of July BBQ. The apricot preserves sat out this time (thank god. –ed.), and I instead brought in a ringer to take this game to the next level. Chipotle Peppers.

*Ahem* Can you say Home Run?? Try sounding it out. “Home” has a long Ō, and the E is silent.

The chipotle is one of my favorite things. It’s a smoked jalapeno. That’s right, some freaking guy (Or girl ya douche bag – ed.) got drunk and amazingly found a way to Improve on the jalapeno.

And well, then I got drunk and used the chipotles to improve on my pork shoulder. Rock and Roll, it most certainly did. The BBQ crowd gave it an A+++.

So, that’s the story, and here’s how you do it. Oh, and did I mention it’s crazy easy? Because it is. It’s CRAZY easy. I mean, on the real. This is the crazy easiest delicious dish you’ll ever make.

Pulled Pork Taco
What’s in it:
1 (7-8 lb) pork shoulder – WITH THE BONE IN IT
1 big yellow onion
4-5 cloves of garlic
2-3 medium jalapeños
1 small bunch of cilantro
2 cans of chipotles in adobo sauce
1 lime
salt/pepper
Serves 15 fat asses

What’s done with it:
Express yourself with a knife on the onion, garlic, jalapenos and cilantro. You can roughly chop the chipotles too if you want, or you can add them whole. Up to you. Or as Marco Pierre White would say, “You’re choice”.

Put the pork in the middle of a big double layer of foil. (needs to be Big cuz you’re gonna wrap it all up in there). Hit both sides with salt and pepper. Cover the whole thing with the chipotles and adobo. Then throw on the stuff you got all choppy with, plus squeezed lime.

Wrap it up in the foil. Make sure it’s as sealed as you can get it, cuz all those mind blowing juices are gonna do their best to escape.

As an added juice-saving precaution, and to minimize any mess, put the package in a baking dish, throw it in a 450 oven, and leave it for 5 hours. Yes. 5 HOURS. Don’t even ask it a question for anything less than 4 ½ hrs.

When done, take it out and let it rest for another 15 minutes. Then pretend its Christmas, and open this very special present to yourself. Trust me, your jaw will drop. Use forks to pull the pork apart. The meat will totally just fall off the bone.

That’s it. Throw it in a tortilla, squeeze a little more lime on it, add some homemade salsa, and you’re laughing.

Thanks K!! For pics of other mind blowing food from the July 4th BBQ, check these delights.

: Cilantro tomatillo salsa (this shit was off the hook, recipe coming soon)

: Traditional salsa (you know what im talking about)

Orzo with sopressata, feta, asparagus, artichoke and roasted red peppers

Swordfish (for tacos)

Pulled Pork

Potato Salad

By Jessica | February 3, 2009 | Recipes, Snackin, Salads and Apps | 1 Comment

Recently was the super bowl and boy was I bored once I got full. Sunday morning I searched around to see who’s house I could invite myself over to and therefore have an excuse to cook my little football hating heart out. I do kinda remember when some guy ran 100 yards but I think that was about when I was lapsing into a food coma and getting cozy with my 2nd bud (hey – when in rome).

I brought 9 Layer Taco dip and Buffalo Style Chicken Fingers. I’m not going to lie – i enjoy ripping the meat off a bone but sometimes a good piece of frank’s red hot-marinated chicken breast can do me right.

For your next boy party, serve this shmack up. And by the way, don’t try to gourmet this recipe all up – it’s supposed to be proletariat. DONT MAKE me turn this car around.

9 Layer Taco Dip
4 oz of cream cheese
4 oz of sour cream
1 paper packet of taco seasoning
16 oz of refried beans
4 cups of shredded iceberg lettuce (if I even see you going to mesclun, arugula or bib, I swear to god…)
2 tomatoes, seeded and chopped
1 small red onion, finely chopped
3 cups of good ol fashion, shredded yellow cheddar cheese
8 oz of canned, sliced black olives (put them kalamatas away right now)
8 oz of canned pickled jalapenos
a big oh bag of corn ships
Serves me or 10.

Mix the cream cheese and sour cream together and add half the packet of seasoning – you can add this to taste. In a 12x16ish pan, spread the creme cheese mixture evenly across the bottom with a spatula. Microwave the beans for 45 seconds to make them soft and pliable but not hot. Spread over the cheese. Then layer in the following order: lettuce, tomato, onion, cheddar, olives and top with jalapenos to taste. Serve with chips.

Buffalo Chicken Fingers
4 chicken breasts
frank’s red hot
bread crumbs
fryin oil
1 tablespoon of butter
more franks red hot
cayenne powder if you nastay
Serves me or 10.

To All You Fake Ass Buffalo Wing Mutherhumpers:
First of all, if you aren’t using franks red hot or something that has vinagar and cayenne and butter, You Are Not Making Buffalo wings. What is up with bars that serve “buffalo wings” and then come out the kitchen with a freaking plate of sweet and sour wings. Or BBQ wings. Or fried wings. It makes me want to shove a wing right up your… <Say to myself… breathe… it’s just chicken.>

So… you are going to have to cut your chicken in chunks that are about 2 inches by 2 inches by 1 inch ish. You aren’t going to get even pieces but try. Throw the chunks into a glass bowl and toss in franks red hot sauce to coat. Add some cayenne if you want fire mouth. Without it you will have “mild” and who in the sam hell wants that? Let marinate in the fridge at least an hour.

After an hour, coat each piece of chicken in bread crumbs and lightly fry in a pan with hot hot hot oil. Fry for 2 minutes on each side and place on a baking sheet. When done fryin, bake the chicken at 350 for 15 minutes.

To make a buffalo dipping sauce, add one tablespoon of butter to 1/2 a cup of franks red hot and heat in a micro or on the stove top till the butter melts. Add cayenne till satisfied. I got about 2 tablespoon for hot – but I could see going hotter. I mean, I’m not a pussy.

By Jessica | September 27, 2008 | Main Courses, Recipes | No comments

I guess I been getting my asian on lately. Got a wok. Now, usually, I am mo patient in the kitchen and I enjoy the projects. But when seasoning my new wok, I thought I would chuck the fiery ass iron out the window onto someone’s cabesa. Lucky R came to my rescue and finished it up for me. Basically, when seasoning a wok, after the initial washing and drying, you wanna wipe a thin coat of veg oil and over a low flame, and heat the metal so it absorbs the oil. First of all, you got to do this 4 times before using. Second of all, if you want an even browning, you have to hold it over the flame to get the sides, I swear you have to be freakin brooke hogan to do that shiv. But you know what? It was worth it, sore arms and all cause shortly after the seasoning debackle, we made some very serious fried rice.

Fried Rice with Carrots, Snow Peas, Chicken and Egg

3 cups cooked white rice (I dare you to try it with brown rice)
handful of snow peas, knotty bits at the end chopped off
1 chicken breast, cubed
1 carrot, sliced
1/2 cup white onion, chopped
2 eggs
1/4 cup tamari sauce (or more if you are into salty)
1/8 cup sesame oil (or more if you are obsessed with that flavor like I am)
sirachi to taste
veg oil for frying
This serves two.

Have all your ingredients cut, ready and accessible cause this shiv is going to go fast like a girl gone wild.

Heat your wok. When the veg oil starts to smoke, throw in your onion and stir like a madman. After 30 seconds, throw in your chicken. It will start to turn white immediately. After 1 minute, add your carrots. One minute later, the snow peas, all the while stirring furiously. When the heat gets back up, toss in your rice. Add tamari, sesame sauce and sirachi. When everything seems to be tasting delicious, make a hole in the middle of the pan and drop your eggs directly onto the wok. Left them fry a bit by continuously giving them real estate on the pan. As the egg hardens, scrape and add to the rice and veg in the pan. Do this until the egg is fully cooked.

Serve immediately in a big ol’ bowl. Offer your guests extra sirachi just in case they like fire mouth.

The key is to have very high heat, so you cook quickly, sear the outside, mainstain crispy veg and make hot food. That’s why the wok is so dope. Hey China, thanks for the wok (you can keep the milk).