Since I had bacon for breakfast, and two dinners: buffalo wings and beer, then ramen with pork later that night, my heart was banging and begging for some heart healthy love. So I set about creating a fat-free, sugar-free, guilt-free, and everything else bad for you-free meal for me and B. Since we recently became obsessed with the spicy green papaya salad from thai restaurants, I built a larger meal around that idea. And hot damn that shit is good. I mean, not as good as how much we need to help the US citizens of South Africa get more maps, but probably almost as good, you know, for our kids, such as, I believe. Maps.
Spicy Mango and Shrimp Salad
1/2 head of bibb lettuce, tore apart
1/2 cup of fresh cilantro, chopped
1/2 cup of fresh basil, chopped
1 jalapeno, finely diced
1/2 inch ginger, peeled and finely diced
1/2 almost ripe mango, cut in thin, 1 inch strips
1 scallion, cut in thin, 1 inch strips
1 carrot, peeled and cut in thin, 1 inch strips
1/2 cucumber, peeled and cut in 1 inch strips
1/4 cup of salted peanuts
Shrimp:
20 medium shrimps, peeled
1 tbs of paprika
1/2 tbs of cayenne
drizzle of olive oil
Dressing:
2 parts soy sauce
2 parts rice or white vinegar
1 parts sirachi
1 part sesame oil
Serves 2 hungry heffers.
After your shreemps are peeled and washed, sprinkle with the spices and mix in the olive oil. Let sit for 20 minutes while you chop your veg and get your dressing on point.
Mix your greens, cilantro and basil together, and divide in two eatin bowls. Sprinkle the jalapeno and ginger over the greens. In pretty little piles, place mounds of the mango, scallion, carrot and cucumbers around the outer edge of the bowl over the lettuce. Don’t mix – it will look awesomer this way.
Combine the first 3 ingredients of your dressing. Slowly whisk in the oil. Feel free to play with the amounts to achieve success for your taste buds. Now pour over your prepared salad.
Heat your stove top grill pan, or skillet and place the shrimp. After a minute and a half, flip. Cook for another minute and a half. Grab and place in a delicious little pile in the center of your salad.
Sprinkle with the peanuts. Write me a note and tell me you sweat this salad.
B and I (yeah, he’s B now) had the old crew over to ours for taco munching and tequila drinking and boy, it was quite the fiesta. After the major cleaning we gave the place, we spent hours prepping for the 11 guests to enjoy a sit down taco dinner. For the “vegetarians” we made fish. But the winner, and the to make, was for def, the pernil. Secret family recipe below. Until then, see what we did for Tomatillo Salsa, Mango Salsa, Pico de Gallo, Roast Corn, Guacamole, Lime and Cilantro Marinated Tilapia, and Chicken Breast with Lemon. We served these dishes with tons of small flour tortillas, lime wedges, shredded red cabbage, sliced radish, and Goya yellow rice (shut up).
Tomatillo Salsa
First of all, if you don’t know about tomatillos, I suggest to you get to the store quick and eat as many as you can. Tomatillos are cuties cause they look like hard little green tomatoes but are then wrapped in a lovely gift paper of leaves. Second of all, they taste like strong tangy tomatoes. Basically, tomatillos kick the ass out of regular old tomatoes. Here we go.
6 tomatillos
1 garlic clove
1 jalapeno
1 long green pepper
1 habanero, seeded
juice of 1/2 lime
salt
Makes about 1 cup
I don’t normally suggest using food processors cause I know yall don’t all have em, but I’m sorry, cause you need it for this. Process the garlic first so you know that it is as small as it’s going to get. You don’t want to be waking up next to the person that chomped into a hunk of raw garlic. Quarter your tomatillos, roughly chop your three peppers and toss them all into the processor. Blend till you have a watery consistency. Sit back and hate yourself for not knowing about tomatillos til now.
Mango Salsa
Not usually a sweet eater but I figured someone would be at the partaay so we had to do something for those weirdos. Mango salsa was the answer and answer it was.
2 mangos, chopped
1 small red onion, chopped
1 small handful of cilantro, chopped
1 jalapeno, finely chopped
juice of one lemon
Makes 4 cups
Um? Add together and stir? This went great with chips or on the pork.
Pico de Gallo
Look, nobody is shocking you here. This Pico is very traditional, but that’s the way we like it here. I dare you to send me a better recipe with heirloom tomatoes. Dare you.
12 plum tomatoes, seeded and chopped
2 vine tomatoes, seeded and chopped
4 jalapenos, finely chopped
1 mega red onion, finely chopped
1 handful of chopped cilantro
juice of 1 lemon and 1 lime
salt to taste
Serves a butt load of people, about 6 cups
Um, add together and stir. Der.
Roast Corn
I’m not saying I’m cool cause I do my corn mexican style cause everybody and their moms does it mexican style. I’m saying I’m cool cause you’re reading this. Nah! Jay Kay! Read this and eat this.
6 ears of corn
juice of one lime
2 tbl of mayo
1/4 cup of parmesan
1 tbl of cayenne
1 tbl of paprika
salt to taste
Makes 5 cups
Husk and boil your corn for 5 minutes. Let it completely dry and place ears on hot hot hot grill pan. Let blacken for as much patience as you have. Maybe 3 minutes per side. Cut the kernels off the ears and add to a mixing bowl. Add the remaining 6 ingredients. Serve hot or warm. Good as a side or in the tacos.
The guacamole was outstanding. Stay tuned to More Meat for the recipe on that from guest meater, K.
Lime and Cilantro Marinated Tilapia
Fish tacos are possibly my fave thing, but these were just alright. Next time I would use a different fish so you got chunks instead of shreds. Regardless, here is the stupid recipe.
6 tilapia filets
1 jalapeno, finely chopped
juice of 1 lime
1 small handful of chopped cilantro
a dash of paprika
salt and pepper
These babies are getting grilled. About 45 minutes to and hour before you throw em on, add the last 4 ingredients to the fishes in a bowl and let them marinate. When your grill is nice and hot, throw them on for about 4 minutes on one side and 30 seconds on the other. Just by removing the fish from the pan, it will fall apart over the serving plate. This went well with the guac.
Chicken with Lemon
Look, nobody likes chicken but it’s just gotta be on the table when 11 are sitting because you don’t know who the pork haters are going to be. Hence the chicken. But I will say, B masterfully grilled up a 4-foot pile of thinly sliced chicken filets.
6 chicken breasts, thinly sliced
juice of two lemons
salt and pepper
Each breast makes about 6 small tacos
Marinate the chicken with the lemon, salt and pepper for about a half hour prior to grilling. Slam the breasts onto the grill. You know they are done when they turn white. Once removed, cut into thin slices and garnish with some more lemon. (I promise to get more inventive next time – I’m putting myself to sleep.)
Pernil
Pernil is puerto rican style roast pork. The beauty of this style is the textures, combining a falling-off-the-bone inside with a crispy pig skin on the outside. I’m not saying this isn’t going to make your heart explode, but I am saying this is going to make your heart filled with love for whoever put it in your mouth.
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