All posts tagged lime

Something Meaty on Something Greany: Vietnamese Salad

I make my hunger diversify its preoccupation with asian food at least. You don’t see biff and broccoli up in this bitch everyday, do ya? Didn’t think so. But I suppose you do get a lotta shit with soy sauce. Sorry? Or… you’re welcome.

I’m working in Chinatown at my day job that does pay these bills (cause yall see that ad to the left? please know fo sho that that shit ain’t puttin food on the table). There is this vietnamese spot near my office that I like to go slam 4.75 on the table of and order a big fat hardy bowl of rice/salad/beefy shtuff. I recreated it for you here. You can substitute the rice for rice noodles if you want. Or, if you are an atkins freak that thinks bacon is better for you than bread, remove the rice product all together.

Vietnamese Salad

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Guest Post: Pullin’ Pork for America!

Howdy. I’m K. Longtime pal, and co-hanger outer of J & B. J has been asking me for ages to write a guest post. In fact, she’s been kind of a P in the A about it. But hey, my laziness is no match for her persistent nagging. So, buckle your seatbelts, because guess what,…Today Is The Day.

The short of the short is this. A few years back, I read, and instantly forgot, a recipe for shredded pork tacos. Sometime later, remembering only two elements about it 1) the meat was pork shoulder 2) it included apricot preserves, I decided to make the rest up.

Not only did I not embarrass myself, but it was even considered a hit. I’ve done it many more times since, tweaking and adjusting each time.

Fast forward to last Saturday’s 4th of July BBQ. The apricot preserves sat out this time (thank god. –ed.), and I instead brought in a ringer to take this game to the next level. Chipotle Peppers.

*Ahem* Can you say Home Run?? Try sounding it out. “Home” has a long Ō, and the E is silent.

The chipotle is one of my favorite things. It’s a smoked jalapeno. That’s right, some freaking guy (Or girl ya douche bag – ed.) got drunk and amazingly found a way to Improve on the jalapeno.

And well, then I got drunk and used the chipotles to improve on my pork shoulder. Rock and Roll, it most certainly did. The BBQ crowd gave it an A+++.

So, that’s the story, and here’s how you do it. Oh, and did I mention it’s crazy easy? Because it is. It’s CRAZY easy. I mean, on the real. This is the crazy easiest delicious dish you’ll ever make.

Pulled Pork Taco
What’s in it:
1 (7-8 lb) pork shoulder – WITH THE BONE IN IT
1 big yellow onion
4-5 cloves of garlic
2-3 medium jalapeños
1 small bunch of cilantro
2 cans of chipotles in adobo sauce
1 lime
salt/pepper
Serves 15 fat asses

What’s done with it:
Express yourself with a knife on the onion, garlic, jalapenos and cilantro. You can roughly chop the chipotles too if you want, or you can add them whole. Up to you. Or as Marco Pierre White would say, “You’re choice”.

Put the pork in the middle of a big double layer of foil. (needs to be Big cuz you’re gonna wrap it all up in there). Hit both sides with salt and pepper. Cover the whole thing with the chipotles and adobo. Then throw on the stuff you got all choppy with, plus squeezed lime.

Wrap it up in the foil. Make sure it’s as sealed as you can get it, cuz all those mind blowing juices are gonna do their best to escape.

As an added juice-saving precaution, and to minimize any mess, put the package in a baking dish, throw it in a 450 oven, and leave it for 5 hours. Yes. 5 HOURS. Don’t even ask it a question for anything less than 4 ½ hrs.

When done, take it out and let it rest for another 15 minutes. Then pretend its Christmas, and open this very special present to yourself. Trust me, your jaw will drop. Use forks to pull the pork apart. The meat will totally just fall off the bone.

That’s it. Throw it in a tortilla, squeeze a little more lime on it, add some homemade salsa, and you’re laughing.

Thanks K!! For pics of other mind blowing food from the July 4th BBQ, check these delights.


Sheffin Other People’s Recipes: Soy and Citrus Sea Bass Over Couscous

I realize that I have been a fat ass in the making since I was little. On playdates, friends would come over and play cooking. All my first jobs were centered around food, from manning a bakery to making cupcakes (ok, i didn’t actually get PAID for that). Some of the funnest and most hormone-inducing jobs were always as a waitress. The fanciest and possibly the most deliciousest (?) restaurant job I had was at this bougie place in rochester ny called the rio bamba. Buttery and frenchy, this food was at a level of upscale tastiness that all Rochester restaurants would strive to be. But please.

Since moving on from the rio, I have made one of their signature dishes oh, maybe, 8, 9 hundred times. It’s too good, healthy and easy not to make this meal everyday. You should make this for someone cause they will think you are cool.

The original recipe calls for tuna, but I don’t eat tuna anymore (something really gamey to me, but by all means, go for it) so I substituted the fish with a sea bass – I know, so not politically correct. I have done this with swordfish before which I think is my fave. Also, chef made this with isreali couscous which is the same couscous you and I know, except it’s enormous balls instead of tiny ones. I prefer the standard couscous size cause it soaks up the sauce which is mamma’s milk foreal. Eat this.



Soy and Citrus Sea Bass Over Couscous

1/4 cup soy sauce or tamari (tamari is just the same as soy, just a higher quality with less sodium)
1/4 cup of fresh lime juice
1/8 cup of olive oil
1 leek
2 servings of Sea Bass, Tuna, Swordfish, or your favorite fish, but not salmon
2 servings of cooked couscous
olive oil or butter for frying
Serves 2.

Combine the first 3 ingredients. Slice the leeks and add to the sauce. Stir well. Heat your olive oil (or butter) in a frying pan. When hot, place the fish skin side down. When the fish can move a bit in the pan, it’s ready to flip. It’s done when you can stick a knife in it without any resistance. (Thanks, Bittman.) When the couscous is ready, plate, put the fish on top, add the leeks on top of the fish and pour the sauce over everything. So. Easy.

Dinner for Eleven: Fish, Pernil and Chicken Tacos with Pico de Gallo, Tomatillo Salsa, Mango Salsa, Roast Corn, and Guacamole.

B and I (yeah, he’s B now) had the old crew over to ours for taco munching and tequila drinking and boy, it was quite the fiesta. After the major cleaning we gave the place, we spent hours prepping for the 11 guests to enjoy a sit down taco dinner. For the “vegetarians” we made fish. But the winner, and the to make, was for def, the pernil. Secret family recipe below. Until then, see what we did for Tomatillo Salsa, Mango Salsa, Pico de Gallo, Roast Corn, Guacamole, Lime and Cilantro Marinated Tilapia, and Chicken Breast with Lemon. We served these dishes with tons of small flour tortillas, lime wedges, shredded red cabbage, sliced radish, and Goya yellow rice (shut up).

Tomatillo Salsa
First of all, if you don’t know about tomatillos, I suggest to you get to the store quick and eat as many as you can. Tomatillos are cuties cause they look like hard little green tomatoes but are then wrapped in a lovely gift paper of leaves. Second of all, they taste like strong tangy tomatoes. Basically, tomatillos kick the ass out of regular old tomatoes. Here we go.

6 tomatillos
1 garlic clove
1 jalapeno
1 long green pepper
1 habanero, seeded
juice of 1/2 lime
salt
Makes about 1 cup

I don’t normally suggest using food processors cause I know yall don’t all have em, but I’m sorry, cause you need it for this. Process the garlic first so you know that it is as small as it’s going to get. You don’t want to be waking up next to the person that chomped into a hunk of raw garlic. Quarter your tomatillos, roughly chop your three peppers and toss them all into the processor. Blend till you have a watery consistency. Sit back and hate yourself for not knowing about tomatillos til now.


Mango Salsa

Not usually a sweet eater but I figured someone would be at the partaay so we had to do something for those weirdos. Mango salsa was the answer and answer it was.

2 mangos, chopped
1 small red onion, chopped
1 small handful of cilantro, chopped
1 jalapeno, finely chopped
juice of one lemon
Makes 4 cups

Um? Add together and stir? This went great with chips or on the pork.

Pico de Gallo
Look, nobody is shocking you here. This Pico is very traditional, but that’s the way we like it here. I dare you to send me a better recipe with heirloom tomatoes. Dare you.

12 plum tomatoes, seeded and chopped
2 vine tomatoes, seeded and chopped
4 jalapenos, finely chopped
1 mega red onion, finely chopped
1 handful of chopped cilantro
juice of 1 lemon and 1 lime
salt to taste
Serves a butt load of people, about 6 cups

Um, add together and stir. Der.

Roast Corn

I’m not saying I’m cool cause I do my corn mexican style cause everybody and their moms does it mexican style. I’m saying I’m cool cause you’re reading this. Nah! Jay Kay! Read this and eat this.

6 ears of corn
juice of one lime
2 tbl of mayo
1/4 cup of parmesan
1 tbl of cayenne
1 tbl of paprika
salt to taste
Makes 5 cups

Husk and boil your corn for 5 minutes. Let it completely dry and place ears on hot hot hot grill pan. Let blacken for as much patience as you have. Maybe 3 minutes per side. Cut the kernels off the ears and add to a mixing bowl. Add the remaining 6 ingredients. Serve hot or warm. Good as a side or in the tacos.

The guacamole was outstanding. Stay tuned to More Meat for the recipe on that from guest meater, K.

Lime and Cilantro Marinated Tilapia
Fish tacos are possibly my fave thing, but these were just alright. Next time I would use a different fish so you got chunks instead of shreds. Regardless, here is the stupid recipe.

6 tilapia filets
1 jalapeno, finely chopped
juice of 1 lime
1 small handful of chopped cilantro
a dash of paprika
salt and pepper

These babies are getting grilled. About 45 minutes to and hour before you throw em on, add the last 4 ingredients to the fishes in a bowl and let them marinate. When your grill is nice and hot, throw them on for about 4 minutes on one side and 30 seconds on the other. Just by removing the fish from the pan, it will fall apart over the serving plate. This went well with the guac.

Chicken with Lemon
Look, nobody likes chicken but it’s just gotta be on the table when 11 are sitting because you don’t know who the pork haters are going to be. Hence the chicken. But I will say, B masterfully grilled up a 4-foot pile of thinly sliced chicken filets.

6 chicken breasts, thinly sliced
juice of two lemons
salt and pepper
Each breast makes about 6 small tacos

Marinate the chicken with the lemon, salt and pepper for about a half hour prior to grilling. Slam the breasts onto the grill. You know they are done when they turn white. Once removed, cut into thin slices and garnish with some more lemon. (I promise to get more inventive next time – I’m putting myself to sleep.)


Pernil

Pernil is puerto rican style roast pork. The beauty of this style is the textures, combining a falling-off-the-bone inside with a crispy pig skin on the outside. I’m not saying this isn’t going to make your heart explode, but I am saying this is going to make your heart filled with love for whoever put it in your mouth.

Secret Family Recipe Here.

Seacrest Out.

Treating My Heart: Vietnamese Salad

Have you ever finished a weekend full of sausage and felt like your heart just might burst if you don’t give it some green? Yeah. That’s why Sundays there are always green meals happening. Recently, I had my fill of meat so I had to do a fat-free, hi-ruffage salad. Because I care.

Vietnamese Salad

2 servings of udon noodles
2 scallions, sliced
1/4 cup fresh mint, chopped
1/4 cup fresh basil, chopped
1/2 cup fresh cilantro, chopped
1 cup bean sprouts
3 cups iceberg lettuce, shredded
Dressing:
2 parts fresh lime juice, 2 parts tamari, 1 part sesame oil
You’ll probably want to start with two juicy limes and work your way from there.
And, instead of tamari, you can use low-sodium, high-quality soy sauce. (Or fug it, some leftover Chinese Packets)

Boil your noodles, toss with half the dressing. Pour into a large bowl. Throw the lettuce on top. Then the rest of the herbs, scallions and sprouts. Top with the rest of the dressing. This makes two large servings. Your tiny beating heart will thank you. (Although, this really goes well with thinly sliced beef, rolled around a slice of onion, grilled.)