All posts tagged lettuce

By Jessica | July 30, 2009 | Main Courses, Snackin, Salads and Apps | No comments

I make my hunger diversify its preoccupation with asian food at least. You don’t see biff and broccoli up in this bitch everyday, do ya? Didn’t think so. But I suppose you do get a lotta shit with soy sauce. Sorry? Or… you’re welcome.

I’m working in Chinatown at my day job that does pay these bills (cause yall see that ad to the left? please know fo sho that that shit ain’t puttin food on the table). There is this vietnamese spot near my office that I like to go slam 4.75 on the table of and order a big fat hardy bowl of rice/salad/beefy shtuff. I recreated it for you here. You can substitute the rice for rice noodles if you want. Or, if you are an atkins freak that thinks bacon is better for you than bread, remove the rice product all together.

Vietnamese Salad

By Jessica | March 18, 2009 | Main Courses, Recipes | 3 Comments

Since I had bacon for breakfast, and two dinners: buffalo wings and beer, then ramen with pork later that night, my heart was banging and begging for some heart healthy love. So I set about creating a fat-free, sugar-free, guilt-free, and everything else bad for you-free meal for me and B. Since we recently became obsessed with the spicy green papaya salad from thai restaurants, I built a larger meal around that idea. And hot damn that shit is good. I mean, not as good as how much we need to help the US citizens of South Africa get more maps, but probably almost as good, you know, for our kids, such as, I believe. Maps.

Spicy Mango and Shrimp Salad

1/2 head of bibb lettuce, tore apart
1/2 cup of fresh cilantro, chopped
1/2 cup of fresh basil, chopped
1 jalapeno, finely diced
1/2 inch ginger, peeled and finely diced
1/2 almost ripe mango, cut in thin, 1 inch strips
1 scallion, cut in thin, 1 inch strips
1 carrot, peeled and cut in thin, 1 inch strips
1/2 cucumber, peeled and cut in 1 inch strips
1/4 cup of salted peanuts

Shrimp:
20 medium shrimps, peeled
1 tbs of paprika
1/2 tbs of cayenne
drizzle of olive oil

Dressing:
2 parts soy sauce
2 parts rice or white vinegar
1 parts sirachi
1 part sesame oil

Serves 2 hungry heffers.

After your shreemps are peeled and washed, sprinkle with the spices and mix in the olive oil. Let sit for 20 minutes while you chop your veg and get your dressing on point.

Mix your greens, cilantro and basil together, and divide in two eatin bowls. Sprinkle the jalapeno and ginger over the greens. In pretty little piles, place mounds of the mango, scallion, carrot and cucumbers around the outer edge of the bowl over the lettuce. Don’t mix – it will look awesomer this way.

Combine the first 3 ingredients of your dressing. Slowly whisk in the oil. Feel free to play with the amounts to achieve success for your taste buds. Now pour over your prepared salad.

Heat your stove top grill pan, or skillet and place the shrimp. After a minute and a half, flip. Cook for another minute and a half. Grab and place in a delicious little pile in the center of your salad.

Sprinkle with the peanuts. Write me a note and tell me you sweat this salad.

By Jessica | February 3, 2009 | Recipes, Snackin, Salads and Apps | 1 Comment

Recently was the super bowl and boy was I bored once I got full. Sunday morning I searched around to see who’s house I could invite myself over to and therefore have an excuse to cook my little football hating heart out. I do kinda remember when some guy ran 100 yards but I think that was about when I was lapsing into a food coma and getting cozy with my 2nd bud (hey – when in rome).

I brought 9 Layer Taco dip and Buffalo Style Chicken Fingers. I’m not going to lie – i enjoy ripping the meat off a bone but sometimes a good piece of frank’s red hot-marinated chicken breast can do me right.

For your next boy party, serve this shmack up. And by the way, don’t try to gourmet this recipe all up – it’s supposed to be proletariat. DONT MAKE me turn this car around.

9 Layer Taco Dip
4 oz of cream cheese
4 oz of sour cream
1 paper packet of taco seasoning
16 oz of refried beans
4 cups of shredded iceberg lettuce (if I even see you going to mesclun, arugula or bib, I swear to god…)
2 tomatoes, seeded and chopped
1 small red onion, finely chopped
3 cups of good ol fashion, shredded yellow cheddar cheese
8 oz of canned, sliced black olives (put them kalamatas away right now)
8 oz of canned pickled jalapenos
a big oh bag of corn ships
Serves me or 10.

Mix the cream cheese and sour cream together and add half the packet of seasoning – you can add this to taste. In a 12x16ish pan, spread the creme cheese mixture evenly across the bottom with a spatula. Microwave the beans for 45 seconds to make them soft and pliable but not hot. Spread over the cheese. Then layer in the following order: lettuce, tomato, onion, cheddar, olives and top with jalapenos to taste. Serve with chips.

Buffalo Chicken Fingers
4 chicken breasts
frank’s red hot
bread crumbs
fryin oil
1 tablespoon of butter
more franks red hot
cayenne powder if you nastay
Serves me or 10.

To All You Fake Ass Buffalo Wing Mutherhumpers:
First of all, if you aren’t using franks red hot or something that has vinagar and cayenne and butter, You Are Not Making Buffalo wings. What is up with bars that serve “buffalo wings” and then come out the kitchen with a freaking plate of sweet and sour wings. Or BBQ wings. Or fried wings. It makes me want to shove a wing right up your… <Say to myself… breathe… it’s just chicken.>

So… you are going to have to cut your chicken in chunks that are about 2 inches by 2 inches by 1 inch ish. You aren’t going to get even pieces but try. Throw the chunks into a glass bowl and toss in franks red hot sauce to coat. Add some cayenne if you want fire mouth. Without it you will have “mild” and who in the sam hell wants that? Let marinate in the fridge at least an hour.

After an hour, coat each piece of chicken in bread crumbs and lightly fry in a pan with hot hot hot oil. Fry for 2 minutes on each side and place on a baking sheet. When done fryin, bake the chicken at 350 for 15 minutes.

To make a buffalo dipping sauce, add one tablespoon of butter to 1/2 a cup of franks red hot and heat in a micro or on the stove top till the butter melts. Add cayenne till satisfied. I got about 2 tablespoon for hot – but I could see going hotter. I mean, I’m not a pussy.