All posts tagged garlic

By Jessica | April 16, 2009 | Main Courses, Projects, Recipes, Snackin, Salads and Apps | 8 Comments

I love Easter cause it’s all the food and none of the shopping. It’s not that I don’t like giving (or getting) christmas or kwanza gifts for my loved ones. It’s that if I have to stand in one more holiday line, fight my way through one more crowd of coupon-wielding buyers, I will punch a bitch in their mouth. And that’s why JJ loves Easter. You get to eat lots with fam and get drunk without having to remember to leave cookies for jesus.

B and I hosted this year. We had my fam and friends without fam (or friends with fam that don’t love them much). And instead of packing the place with the usual overfed fatties, we wanted to cook a regular amount of food for a regular sized plate – very unamerican of us. (well, B’s not american, that’s probably where that comes from). Anyways. We made lamb, roast potatoes, salad and asparagus. Check it, check it out to the bricka bricka.

Roasted Leg of Lamb
5.5 lbs of boneless lamb
2.5 lbs of boneless lamb
5 cloves or garlic
leaves from 4 stalks of rosemary
olive oil
salt
pepper
baking twine / string
Serves 12

I grabbed these two pieces of lamb /\ and cut the larger one in half so I had thee equal pieces of meat. You can do two 4lb pieces if you want but it will change the cooking time. The night before you are to gorge on this lamb roast, toss your garlic and rosemary leaves into the food processor. While pulsing, drizzle olive oil until it becomes a paste. You may have to pause to scrape the sides of the processor. When the paste is made, swath over your lamb meat and and stick in the fridge for a day.

About 30 minutes prior to roasting, pull out the lamb and bring to room temp. Preheat your oven to 450 degree. While waiting, wrap your lambs up into tight little footballs with your cooking string. It will be obvious where you are doing the folding and the tightening – promise. Tie that mother tight and place each piece into one large roasting pan.

Roast at 450 for 15 minutes. Reduce the temp to 325 and roast until the meat is at 125 for medium rare. Go get yourself a meat thermometer. It will change everything. Gonna be about 45 minutes at 325, but I can’t tell you exactly cause there are too many variables. Remove from oven and let sit for 15 minutes. Get your hot piece of meat (for me, that’s B) to cut your roast against the grain for optimal tenderoni.

Tangerine and Fennel Over Greens
This is the same tired ass salad I made the other night but I just cannot get enough of this shit.

Grilled Asparagus with Hollandaise Sauce
I’m not going to bother to give you a recipe for the hollandaise sauce cause it’s not worth it. I mean, it was good, but really i just used tyler florence’s tastiness and I know you aren’t going to make this shit anyways.

Grilled Asparagus Recipe: Buy asparagus. Cut asparagus. Oil asparagus. Grill asparagus. Eat asparagus. Pee asparagus.

Roast Potatoes English Style
I don’t know how to make these – this was all B. But dead ass, this was the best thing on the table. Thank you Mama B for giving your son a butt like that and also teaching him how to make these nuggets of love. Maybe if we are lucky, he’ll jump in with a guest post and grace us with a recipe.

And last but not least, thanks so so much to K and P (click those letters) for taking these dizzle pics we see here. Never would have been able to wield a camera and a spatula and feed your asses at the same time. Big ups.

By Jessica | February 6, 2009 | Other People's Recipes, Projects, Recipes, Snackin, Salads and Apps | 3 Comments

It doesn’t seem hard, right? Get a big freakin olive, stuff it with your favorite savoriness and fry that mother up. It’s small and the directions are straight forward. Plus, Bittman said that anyone can do it. Well, I found someone that cannot do it. This gal.

I did two flavors: straight up mozzarella and an adventure of anchovie, fresh minced garlic and parmesan. I stuffed them, rolled em in flour, then egg, then panko bread crumbs (love panko, thank you japan) and deep fried those lil babies in canola. I was so excited. After 30 seconds in 180 degree oil, I took em out and rested them on brown paper bags which my guy tyler florence said is the best. We tasted. They were oily. Cheese fell out. The outside fell off. They were nasty. I was sad. Total failure.

But I didn’t give up, no siree bob. I said, lemme get all 1990s on this bitch and bake instead of fry. I was positive this would launch my new olive biness. This time, I chose a simple provelone. Then the flour, egg, panko, bake. Yeah… um, a bit better but not for company. B tore his up, but sometimes I suspect he does that just so I keep loving his ass.

I don’t know. What did I do wrong people? Please help a chick who strives to stuff her face with homemade skeelz but who has no money for culinary school.

By Jessica | November 26, 2008 | Recipes, Snackin, Salads and Apps | 7 Comments

Tostones are what I like to call the puerto rican french fry. It stared out as a healthy vegetable, but with enough human intervention, it developed into a salty, crispy accompaniment doused in hot sauce or fresh garlic.

Tostones are made from green plantains which look like massive hard green bananas. If you buy them ripened, soft and brown, you’ll fry up what is called platanos, which takes a different cooking process, turn out as a different shape, and are mushy and super sweet. No gracias. I much prefer its savory sibling any day.

Tostones are good to eat with almost anything, so next time you are making something that would go well with french fries, try making it with tostones instead. Your guests and stomach will say Te amo tanto usted hijo – de – a – perra.

Tostones
2 plantains
veg oil for frying
salt to taste
Serves two.

To peel the plantains, take a knife down the length until it just gets to the meat. Make another slit on the opposite side. Peel the leaves off taking care not to break them. The leaves will soon become your down-ass tool. Slice the plantains into 1 inch chunks and throw in a bowl of cool salted water for 10 minutes.

Throw some oil into a deep frying pan at about half an inch high. When very hot, use a tong to take the sliced plantains out of the water, dab on a paper towel to remove excess water and set in pan. Reserve the bowl of water for later a use. You should be able to get all your pieces in. Slightly brown on all sides. When done, place the plantains on a plate lined with brown paper or paper towel.

Here is the fun part. You are going to smash the slices into flattened disks using the leaves, which will make you feel like you want to run bare nekkid through El Yunque. Just something about using the whole fruit in your cooking process that is so down home.

You’ll get the hang of a good smash after a couple but you really want them to a precise thickness. Too thick and they will be mealy and under cooked. Too thin and they will be oily and fall apart. When smashed, throw them back in the bowl of water for 4 minutes.

When 4 minutes is up, throw them back in the frying pan for another few until they are a beautifully golden brown. When done, put them on fresh paper and salt immediately. Serve right away.

These go great with any food you might want to soak up some shlop with or cocktail sauce (ketchup and horseradish) or olive oil with finely chopped raw garlic or with tobasco.

Stay tuned for recipes for Baked Chicken with North African Spices and Spaghetti Squash, which is what I served this shmack with.

By Jessica | November 7, 2008 | Main Courses, Recipes, Snackin, Salads and Apps | No comments

Bought these reebs at the fantastic Great Wall Supermarket for like, 4 cents. B and I were licking chops for days on 4 cents. One reason this beef is so cheap though is cause it has mo fat on it. After I cooked it, I had to cut bits of the gooey/crunchy fat off and hide from B so he wouldn’t chew on it. One reason why this beef is so good though is cause it has mo fat on it. I was totally snacking on the gooey/crunchy fat bits as I was cutting them off before serving to B.

The basic tenets of asian beef ribs include brown sugar and soy sauce and then whatevs you want. Then, marinate, broil, cut, snack. Finger lickin good. This simple recipe ended up being pretty good cause they were sweet but also garlicky which is a good combo. Trust me, you gonna wanna eat more than one. Check it.

Asian Style Broiled Beef Ribs
1/2 cup of brown sugar
1/4 cup of tamari
5 cloves of garlic, minced
7 strips of asian style beef ribs
Serves 2 as an schnack.

Mix your first 3 ingredients together to make a paste. Rub on all sides of your beef ribs. Let marinate for at least an hour. Layout on a cookie sheet and slide into your broiler. Cook for 8 minutes on one side and 4 on the other. Remove and cut in between the bones. I served this in a bowl alongside Ginger Lime Shrimp. Stay tuned for that.

By Jessica | October 20, 2008 | Main Courses, Projects, Recipes, Snackin, Salads and Apps | 2 Comments

B and I (yeah, he’s B now) had the old crew over to ours for taco munching and tequila drinking and boy, it was quite the fiesta. After the major cleaning we gave the place, we spent hours prepping for the 11 guests to enjoy a sit down taco dinner. For the “vegetarians” we made fish. But the winner, and the to make, was for def, the pernil. Secret family recipe below. Until then, see what we did for Tomatillo Salsa, Mango Salsa, Pico de Gallo, Roast Corn, Guacamole, Lime and Cilantro Marinated Tilapia, and Chicken Breast with Lemon. We served these dishes with tons of small flour tortillas, lime wedges, shredded red cabbage, sliced radish, and Goya yellow rice (shut up).

Tomatillo Salsa
First of all, if you don’t know about tomatillos, I suggest to you get to the store quick and eat as many as you can. Tomatillos are cuties cause they look like hard little green tomatoes but are then wrapped in a lovely gift paper of leaves. Second of all, they taste like strong tangy tomatoes. Basically, tomatillos kick the ass out of regular old tomatoes. Here we go.

6 tomatillos
1 garlic clove
1 jalapeno
1 long green pepper
1 habanero, seeded
juice of 1/2 lime
salt
Makes about 1 cup

I don’t normally suggest using food processors cause I know yall don’t all have em, but I’m sorry, cause you need it for this. Process the garlic first so you know that it is as small as it’s going to get. You don’t want to be waking up next to the person that chomped into a hunk of raw garlic. Quarter your tomatillos, roughly chop your three peppers and toss them all into the processor. Blend till you have a watery consistency. Sit back and hate yourself for not knowing about tomatillos til now.

Mango Salsa

Not usually a sweet eater but I figured someone would be at the partaay so we had to do something for those weirdos. Mango salsa was the answer and answer it was.

2 mangos, chopped
1 small red onion, chopped
1 small handful of cilantro, chopped
1 jalapeno, finely chopped
juice of one lemon
Makes 4 cups

Um? Add together and stir? This went great with chips or on the pork.

Pico de Gallo
Look, nobody is shocking you here. This Pico is very traditional, but that’s the way we like it here. I dare you to send me a better recipe with heirloom tomatoes. Dare you.

12 plum tomatoes, seeded and chopped
2 vine tomatoes, seeded and chopped
4 jalapenos, finely chopped
1 mega red onion, finely chopped
1 handful of chopped cilantro
juice of 1 lemon and 1 lime
salt to taste
Serves a butt load of people, about 6 cups

Um, add together and stir. Der.

Roast Corn

I’m not saying I’m cool cause I do my corn mexican style cause everybody and their moms does it mexican style. I’m saying I’m cool cause you’re reading this. Nah! Jay Kay! Read this and eat this.

6 ears of corn
juice of one lime
2 tbl of mayo
1/4 cup of parmesan
1 tbl of cayenne
1 tbl of paprika
salt to taste
Makes 5 cups

Husk and boil your corn for 5 minutes. Let it completely dry and place ears on hot hot hot grill pan. Let blacken for as much patience as you have. Maybe 3 minutes per side. Cut the kernels off the ears and add to a mixing bowl. Add the remaining 6 ingredients. Serve hot or warm. Good as a side or in the tacos.

The guacamole was outstanding. Stay tuned to More Meat for the recipe on that from guest meater, K.

Lime and Cilantro Marinated Tilapia
Fish tacos are possibly my fave thing, but these were just alright. Next time I would use a different fish so you got chunks instead of shreds. Regardless, here is the stupid recipe.

6 tilapia filets
1 jalapeno, finely chopped
juice of 1 lime
1 small handful of chopped cilantro
a dash of paprika
salt and pepper

These babies are getting grilled. About 45 minutes to and hour before you throw em on, add the last 4 ingredients to the fishes in a bowl and let them marinate. When your grill is nice and hot, throw them on for about 4 minutes on one side and 30 seconds on the other. Just by removing the fish from the pan, it will fall apart over the serving plate. This went well with the guac.

Chicken with Lemon
Look, nobody likes chicken but it’s just gotta be on the table when 11 are sitting because you don’t know who the pork haters are going to be. Hence the chicken. But I will say, B masterfully grilled up a 4-foot pile of thinly sliced chicken filets.

6 chicken breasts, thinly sliced
juice of two lemons
salt and pepper
Each breast makes about 6 small tacos

Marinate the chicken with the lemon, salt and pepper for about a half hour prior to grilling. Slam the breasts onto the grill. You know they are done when they turn white. Once removed, cut into thin slices and garnish with some more lemon. (I promise to get more inventive next time – I’m putting myself to sleep.)

Pernil

Pernil is puerto rican style roast pork. The beauty of this style is the textures, combining a falling-off-the-bone inside with a crispy pig skin on the outside. I’m not saying this isn’t going to make your heart explode, but I am saying this is going to make your heart filled with love for whoever put it in your mouth.

Secret Family Recipe Here.

Seacrest Out.