All posts tagged asparagus

By Jessica | June 9, 2009 | Main Courses, Recipes, Snackin, Salads and Apps | 5 Comments

What do you get when you combine a thirst from a hangover and a hunger from being a fat ass? Fat Salad. Fat Salad is a delicious wet and crunchy salad, layered with the meatiest, creamiest, endulgentiest morsels. You can really do it with anything. You may remember a little something called Something Meaty on Something Greeny? Yep, here we are again. And this time, I’m throwing on some egg yolk. Be forewarned, you will tear this mother up.

Oh, actual useful note: choose two of the three suggested highlighted items: shitakes, sopressata and asparagus. My rec is you do vagitarian OR the sopressata and the asparagus. Not that shitakes and sopressata are like Charlie and fingers, but I’m not sure they do anything for each other. Or not. Be all the fat you can be.

Fat Salad

Salad with Asparagus, Sopressata, Shitake Mushroom and Fried Egg

Salad greens for 2, prob something not too strong like mesclun
Sopressata, sliced in strips. you can also use a high quality salami, etc.
1 tbs salted butter
6 large, fresh shitake caps
15 ish stalks of asparagus
Tad bit of olive oil
4 eggs
Fresh pepper
Olive oil for garnish
Serves 2.

Slice your mushroom caps. Heat a skillet with butter. Yeah – I said butter. Toss in the shrooms and saute until soft and buttery. While cooking, put a small pot of salted water on to boil. Trim your asparagus stalks and cut in half. Put your greens on your plate – this shit is going to move fast. After your pork product is sliced, beautifully distribute over the greens. At this point, your shrooms are probably done and your water is probably boiling. Set the mushrooms aside and toss in a bit of olive into the same pan. Over medium to high heat, crack your eggs for a good fry up. The goal is to produce a quick cook of the whites with a crunchy outside, while maintaining a yolky middle.

As soon as you crack your eggs, throw your asparagus in the boiling water. Let em blanch for 60 seconds. At this point, your eggs are probably ready too. Crack some pepper over them bad boys. Now we layer.

On the lettuce and sopressata, put the mushrooms. Then the asparagus. The the eggs. Drizzle just a tiny ass bit of olive on the outer leaves that didnt get blessed by the delicious juices from your hot shit.

Best bite: yolky lettuce and sopressata

I ate this with 2 vodka sodas. Not a bad idea to include. Just sayin.

By Jessica | April 16, 2009 | Main Courses, Projects, Recipes, Snackin, Salads and Apps | 8 Comments

I love Easter cause it’s all the food and none of the shopping. It’s not that I don’t like giving (or getting) christmas or kwanza gifts for my loved ones. It’s that if I have to stand in one more holiday line, fight my way through one more crowd of coupon-wielding buyers, I will punch a bitch in their mouth. And that’s why JJ loves Easter. You get to eat lots with fam and get drunk without having to remember to leave cookies for jesus.

B and I hosted this year. We had my fam and friends without fam (or friends with fam that don’t love them much). And instead of packing the place with the usual overfed fatties, we wanted to cook a regular amount of food for a regular sized plate – very unamerican of us. (well, B’s not american, that’s probably where that comes from). Anyways. We made lamb, roast potatoes, salad and asparagus. Check it, check it out to the bricka bricka.

Roasted Leg of Lamb
5.5 lbs of boneless lamb
2.5 lbs of boneless lamb
5 cloves or garlic
leaves from 4 stalks of rosemary
olive oil
salt
pepper
baking twine / string
Serves 12

I grabbed these two pieces of lamb /\ and cut the larger one in half so I had thee equal pieces of meat. You can do two 4lb pieces if you want but it will change the cooking time. The night before you are to gorge on this lamb roast, toss your garlic and rosemary leaves into the food processor. While pulsing, drizzle olive oil until it becomes a paste. You may have to pause to scrape the sides of the processor. When the paste is made, swath over your lamb meat and and stick in the fridge for a day.

About 30 minutes prior to roasting, pull out the lamb and bring to room temp. Preheat your oven to 450 degree. While waiting, wrap your lambs up into tight little footballs with your cooking string. It will be obvious where you are doing the folding and the tightening – promise. Tie that mother tight and place each piece into one large roasting pan.

Roast at 450 for 15 minutes. Reduce the temp to 325 and roast until the meat is at 125 for medium rare. Go get yourself a meat thermometer. It will change everything. Gonna be about 45 minutes at 325, but I can’t tell you exactly cause there are too many variables. Remove from oven and let sit for 15 minutes. Get your hot piece of meat (for me, that’s B) to cut your roast against the grain for optimal tenderoni.

Tangerine and Fennel Over Greens
This is the same tired ass salad I made the other night but I just cannot get enough of this shit.

Grilled Asparagus with Hollandaise Sauce
I’m not going to bother to give you a recipe for the hollandaise sauce cause it’s not worth it. I mean, it was good, but really i just used tyler florence’s tastiness and I know you aren’t going to make this shit anyways.

Grilled Asparagus Recipe: Buy asparagus. Cut asparagus. Oil asparagus. Grill asparagus. Eat asparagus. Pee asparagus.

Roast Potatoes English Style
I don’t know how to make these – this was all B. But dead ass, this was the best thing on the table. Thank you Mama B for giving your son a butt like that and also teaching him how to make these nuggets of love. Maybe if we are lucky, he’ll jump in with a guest post and grace us with a recipe.

And last but not least, thanks so so much to K and P (click those letters) for taking these dizzle pics we see here. Never would have been able to wield a camera and a spatula and feed your asses at the same time. Big ups.

By Jessica | July 22, 2008 | Recipes | No comments

… That’s it. Just wanted to show you Pretty.