David Thorne is the funniest asshole in the whole world and also my hero. If you've ever encountered stupidity but never had the words to fight back, and even spent a sleepless night wishing you could do it all over with the best comeback ever, then you'll appreciate David Thorne. Cause really, everyone else is just the asshole. While you're waiting for the book, get lost on his site.

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This sugar body scrub from Sproutwellness is made from all natural, organic sugar and coconut, and handmade in Brooklyn. Your scaly skin will transform because of the exfoliant of the sugar and the moisture from coconut oil. But beware, your body and mouth will be fighting cause this stuff tastes amazing!! I'm so about to sprinkle it on some pancakes or cookies. Good thing there's enough to go around.

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This is the best 15 bones I've ever spent on a kitchen gadget. I've cut radishes so thin you can see through a mother fucker. Forget the knife skills, this 6-piece set is alls you need. Forealzies.

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When I grow up and get a place with a backyard, I'm going to buy myself this grill-a-miig. Add a whole pig or 20 chickens into a reflective box with coals placed on top. It's modeled after the idea of cooking meat in the ground with hot stones on top. Do it long and slow for a very tender and moist meat. With the coals on top, you can also grill some burgers while you're waiting for the main act.

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