All posts in Recipes

By Jessica | March 17, 2010 | Other People's Recipes, Recipes | No comments

B and I do a supper club now. I think it has a name and some sort of concept behind it. I pretty much just kinda go. I like it. The first one was hosted by this chick who is a professional cook so she pretty much did it up. The most memorable shit on the menu was the desert, which coming from this sugar-hater slash spicy-lover is saying a lot. Usually I skip that for another round of the beef, pork, lamb, liquor, beer, martino, whathaveyou. Anywhosal, I recreated the shit on Valentines Day for my boo, trying to score some ass. It worked. It’ll work for you too. Here ya go.

Vanilla Ice Cream with Grapfruit

Two rules:

Don’t be cheap. Get the good, organic vanilla ice cream shit.

Don’t be lazy. Section that grapefruit by skinning it, and then cutting out individual sections in between the pithy white parts.

Nums. Tis like a growed up creamcicle.

By Jessica | February 10, 2010 | Main Courses, Recipes | 4 Comments

In my efforts to eat responsibly, B and I have been buying locally-sourced steaks and grinding them mothers up for ground beef. When we made burgers with it, it smelled just like a grilled streak. YUM.

Fer two burgers:

1 pound chuck steak
1/4 pound asiago cheese
selection of fresh shitakes and button mushrooms
lil bit of goat cheese
butter
truffle oil
2 Sweet Portuguese buns (or whatever you like to eat your burgers on)

Grind your meat and add NOTHING to it. And you know who told me to that? My dude, the Burger King of Brooklyn, Kyle. I asked Kyle to give me some tips on how to make the best burger, what to put in them, what to top them with, etc. He said, leave the fucking meat alone! (he didn’t yell at me though)… Make a patty, put some salt and pepper on the patty. Cook that patty. And patty abandonment was what I did. He was right. This was wrong.

Topped the burger with melted asiago and a puree of mushrooms that had been sauteed in butter and then pureed with a bit of goat cheese and a tad of truffle oil – dead ass, great burger. And the best part is that you can eat it while it still says moo cause you aint getting no ecoli, eboli or tricanosis up in this grass-fed biz.

Oh, the fries were whatever so I wont provide instruction, but they were regular thin cut fries, baked and topped with micro-planed Parmesan and lemon zest.

By Jessica | January 3, 2010 | In The News, Main Courses, Other People's Recipes, Projects, Recipes | 1 Comment

Saw Food, Inc. Kill me now.

My New Years resolution (besides working this fat ass out) is to shop at more farmers markets and eat smaller portions with the goal of being a bit more conscious of my consumption. Ima also do my best to plan out meals so I can double up on the ingredients I buy. How many times does your recipe call for scallions, you buy the bunch, use half, and throw the rest out a week later? So yeah, that shit cannot be happening.

Here is mine and B’s meal plan this week, all different meals that use many of the same ingredes:

Bright and Spicy Citrus Salad Over Rice

That Soba Noodle / Shiitake / Spinach jam on the NYTimes most emailed list for the past couple days.

B and I used to wok up some rice on the daily, haven’t in a while, looking to get back to our roots with some Pork Fried Rice. (wok, peanut oil, chopped pork chop, cooked rice (brown?), cabbage, carrot, siracha, sesame oil, cilantro, basil, bam.)

Although I get my Ashe on, on the reg, I also got a need for the chipotle to hit that tongue as well. I’ll be doing this poached shredded chicken breast with chipotle dressing this week as well.

Oh, and something with a sweet potato. All yall healthy people been squawkin about this shit for a while, I really wasn’t down, but I’m going to try it for lunch. I’ll let ya know how it goes.

By Jessica | December 11, 2009 | Main Courses, Other People's Recipes, Recipes, Snackin, Salads and Apps | No comments

It’s fucking big. See? That’s \/ a lemon and that’s \/ a pomelo. Awesome, right?
Lemon Vs Pomelo

A pomelo is the best cause it’s huge but really light in weight. And then when you open it, it’s beautifully pink (although, I found out that not all of them are, but what the hell do I know). The one I got for this salad wasn’t very citrusey or very sweet. But still very bright, and a perfect addition to the spicy dressing.

I adapted this recipe from a cook book about salads. The book is only aaaight, but here is my version of the salad.

Bright and Spicey Pomelo Salad

Bright and Spicy Pomelo Salad

dressing:
2 tbl rice wine
juice of 1 juicy lime
1 pinch of brown sugar
1 tsp siracha
1 small red onion, finely diced
2 finely diced jalapenos, finely diced and go ahead, leave them seeds
3 tablespoons of canola oil

Mix everything but the oil together. Taste and make sure it’s salty or spicy enough for ya. When you’re ready to toss your salad (hehe), whisk the oil in and dress your veg.

the rest:
1 pomelo, sectioned (if you are really ambition, do it right, see here, otherwise, you know, peel and section it.)
1 small nappa cabbage or iceberg, if ya feel it
1 carrot, shredded
chopped fresh mint, basil and/or cilantro (or maybe 2 out of the 3)
chopped mixed roasted salted nuts

Put your salad in your eatin bowls, with the pomelo beautifully on top. Add the oil to your dressing as noted above and generously dress it. Eat. Mmm mmm good as a mo.

(PS. this original recipe called for fish sauce, shallots and not red onion, and less siracha in the dressing. Do what you will.)

By Jessica | August 11, 2009 | Recipes, Snackin, Salads and Apps | No comments

Eating fish is great, especially in this hot ass, muggy weather we’re having in NYC. But along with all the reasons why you shouldn’t be eating all sorts of shit (ew, not like that), our delicious fishies are also harmful. What with the mercury and the terrible fishing industry standards (don’t ask me for any details, because the good liberal I am, I don’t know the details, I just know we’re fucked), a lot of of fish shouldn’t be consumed as much as we probably want to consume it. I guess a rule of thumb is to eat the small fish more and the big fish once or twice a month? Is that truthiness? Can one of yalls who is either smarter or less lazy confirm that fact?

Anywhos, welcome this new delicious, cheap and healthy salad into your life.

Arugula with Anchovies and Lemon

Arugula with Anchovies and Lemon

Um, you need to get marinated anchovies for this. I got fancy and got mines imported from italy via my dudes, Los Paisanos. And then I got some arugula, washed and dried it. Squeezed lemon, then olive oil, and then placed some anchovies on top. As you know, anchovies have a pretty strong taste, I would say you want no more than 5 suckers per plate. Above is my fat ass getting ahead of myself. Some black pepper is nice on this shmack. And guess what? That shit /\ is probably about 40 cents worth of fish. And aside from the carbon footprint from the transport, it’s healthy as can be. <insert emeril Bam here>

By Jessica | July 11, 2009 | Guest Post, Main Courses, Other People's Recipes, Recipes | 3 Comments

Howdy. I’m K. Longtime pal, and co-hanger outer of J & B. J has been asking me for ages to write a guest post. In fact, she’s been kind of a P in the A about it. But hey, my laziness is no match for her persistent nagging. So, buckle your seatbelts, because guess what,…Today Is The Day.

The short of the short is this. A few years back, I read, and instantly forgot, a recipe for shredded pork tacos. Sometime later, remembering only two elements about it 1) the meat was pork shoulder 2) it included apricot preserves, I decided to make the rest up.

Not only did I not embarrass myself, but it was even considered a hit. I’ve done it many more times since, tweaking and adjusting each time.

Fast forward to last Saturday’s 4th of July BBQ. The apricot preserves sat out this time (thank god. –ed.), and I instead brought in a ringer to take this game to the next level. Chipotle Peppers.

*Ahem* Can you say Home Run?? Try sounding it out. “Home” has a long Ō, and the E is silent.

The chipotle is one of my favorite things. It’s a smoked jalapeno. That’s right, some freaking guy (Or girl ya douche bag – ed.) got drunk and amazingly found a way to Improve on the jalapeno.

And well, then I got drunk and used the chipotles to improve on my pork shoulder. Rock and Roll, it most certainly did. The BBQ crowd gave it an A+++.

So, that’s the story, and here’s how you do it. Oh, and did I mention it’s crazy easy? Because it is. It’s CRAZY easy. I mean, on the real. This is the crazy easiest delicious dish you’ll ever make.

Pulled Pork Taco
What’s in it:
1 (7-8 lb) pork shoulder – WITH THE BONE IN IT
1 big yellow onion
4-5 cloves of garlic
2-3 medium jalapeños
1 small bunch of cilantro
2 cans of chipotles in adobo sauce
1 lime
salt/pepper
Serves 15 fat asses

What’s done with it:
Express yourself with a knife on the onion, garlic, jalapenos and cilantro. You can roughly chop the chipotles too if you want, or you can add them whole. Up to you. Or as Marco Pierre White would say, “You’re choice”.

Put the pork in the middle of a big double layer of foil. (needs to be Big cuz you’re gonna wrap it all up in there). Hit both sides with salt and pepper. Cover the whole thing with the chipotles and adobo. Then throw on the stuff you got all choppy with, plus squeezed lime.

Wrap it up in the foil. Make sure it’s as sealed as you can get it, cuz all those mind blowing juices are gonna do their best to escape.

As an added juice-saving precaution, and to minimize any mess, put the package in a baking dish, throw it in a 450 oven, and leave it for 5 hours. Yes. 5 HOURS. Don’t even ask it a question for anything less than 4 ½ hrs.

When done, take it out and let it rest for another 15 minutes. Then pretend its Christmas, and open this very special present to yourself. Trust me, your jaw will drop. Use forks to pull the pork apart. The meat will totally just fall off the bone.

That’s it. Throw it in a tortilla, squeeze a little more lime on it, add some homemade salsa, and you’re laughing.

Thanks K!! For pics of other mind blowing food from the July 4th BBQ, check these delights.