All posts in Chocolate

By Jessica | August 12, 2009 | Chocolate | 1 Comment

I got my first wedding this Saturday and I’m bringing the chocolate for 150 people. My girl L is coming over today to help. I somehow see this in our near future (with the addition of bloodys):

By Jessica | March 13, 2009 | Chocolate | 1 Comment

Chocolate business is going very well, thank you. I got inspired to make some new shit. Hence, Coconut Curry with Dark Chocolate, Red Pepper with Dark Chocolate, Salt and Pepper, Spicy Pretzel, and Rosemary. And stay tuned, I got more coming.

Coconut Curry with Dark Chocolate:

Red Pepper with Dark Chocolate:

Salt and Pepper with Dark Chocolate:

Spice Pretzel:

Rosemary with Dark Chocolate:

Assorted Salty Chocolate:

Want to buy a box? Let a chick know.

By Jessica | January 14, 2009 | Chocolate, Recipes, Restaurants | 3 Comments

I sell boxes of homemade chocolates.

When you order a box of homemade chocolates from me, you not only get homemade chocolates, you get to choose the flavors AND they come delivered in a handcrafted, one-of-a-kind, artist-made box. The last box I sold to some dude for a present for his chick, I got a picture in my inbox of her laying in bed, half-naked, licking a chocolate I made. Discounts will be given to those that send in suggestive pictures WITH my chocolates as a prop – as long I can I post them here on Go Meat Yourself. Make your lover or wannabe lover owe you something having to do with your gens by buying one of these boxes of chocolates for valentines day. You won’t regret it.

Boxes of 8 for $10, 12 for $15, and 16 for $18, with easy online payment below. Choose your own adventure here:

Dark Chocolate or Milk Chocolate
Mixed Roasted Nuts
Honey Nut and Cinnamon
Sea Salt
Pretzel
Cayenne
Spicy Bacon
Fresh Orange
Ginger
Cranberry
Orange Cranberry
Fresh Raspberry
Coffee
Chocolate Chip Cookie
Italian Cookie
Mint Cookie
Chocolate Cake
Rice Crispy Treats

White Chocolate
Mixed Roasted Nuts
Pretzel
Fresh Orange
Cranberry
Orange Cranberry
Sour Cherry
Fresh Raspberry
Coffee
Chocolate Chip Cookie
Italian Cookie
Chocolate Cake

Orders are either cash on delivery or via Paypal, which you don’t need an account to use. Place your order here and I will be in touch about flavas, delivery, and when you need these virtual roofies. I’ll work with you to get you what you need.

By Jessica | December 3, 2008 | Chocolate, Projects, Recipes | 1 Comment

I’ve been doing the chocolate thing now for about a year and I still can’t get enough. I don’t eat it but I loves making it for people. B and I went to The Fancies for dinner the other night so I thought I would bring a box of chocolates for dessert. Making the chocolates is fun, but making the box for them to go in is possibly funner. Watch me get martha stewart on your ass.

This one is Salted Mixed Nuts.

This is Italian Cookie. I use hazelnut wafers which add a whole crunchy, yet airy element.

I love the haters when it comes to this one: Sea Salt. First of all, its the best looking, plus, its’ the unexpected that I love so. Salt and sweet go together like Britney and Cheetos, like coke and poopin, like me and stoli. It’s not new. It’s keeping it real.

This here is Cayenne. I’d like to think I invented this but as it turns out, I’m just ignant and everyone and their butt mixes cayenne and chocolate. Anyway, it’s good. Some times I add bacon to this one.

This is the box I made like it was friggin arts and crafts time at your local hipster throw-up-in-my-mouth bar.

Now look, I know life isn’t always flowers and sausages and we don’t all have time to be everything to everyone. So, I’m taking orders to make them for you. I got a few in line so place your orders early if you want a box. Order here.