Guest Post: Blow-Your-Effing-Mind BBQ

Hey yall, got another guest post for ya – I told you I have more friends than just B. I asked this dude for a write-up just to trick him into cooking his famous grilled shteck and bacony-vinegary potato salad for my fat ass. I had it once at his joint and it was slammin -  had to try to get that shit in my mouth one more time. So don’t be skerd: read it, comment on it, share it, and take your hands outside your pants long enough to cook it. (Also, peep the mo photos but dont get used to that shit – I am way too lazy and hungry to snap and share that many.)

Tangy no-mayo-Bacon-german-potato-salad

Did you notice that I capitalized the ‘B’ in bacon and not ‘G’ in German? It’s not out of my distaste for Germans (we’ve been cool for going on 50 yrs), but that my cured-pork master is a jealous one. Also, it’s the most important ingredient in the dish. I made this for J and B (B and J?) a few yrs back and they’ve been happy enough to remind me to make it every time L & I have them over. Aside from the Bacon, what really sets this potato salad apart from the pack is its lack of mayo. This is a result of my strict no-mayo-near-anything-that-gets-close-to-the-sun policy which I’ve followed with religious devotion ever since I was forced to go down a mayo covered slip-and-slide at summer camp and pick up cherries in my mouth on the way down. Gross.

Anyhow… This shiz is best made the night before so that it will be nice and cool by the time you serve it. It also gives the flavors a chance to mingle with Idaho’s finest for a while. The result is a somewhat tangy side that goes great with a burger or a steak (or a hotdog, you cheapo). Of note: I adapted this recipe from one published in a magazine in 1957 which I’m pretty sure no longer exists. Also: it makes a TON, so don’t wear your skinny lederhosen.

8 Medium red potatoes. Cleaned, cubed (leave the skin on)(1-2” chunks) and then boiled until they are ‘fork split’ soft.
6-8 slices of bacon (fancy or poor-mans, no rind please)
1 small red onion – minced
2 tbs flour
1 tbs sugar
¾ cup red wine vinegar
¾ cup water
4 tsp dry mustard (Coleman’s or whatever)
1 tbs of german mustard (with the big seeds in it)
Hot paprika, salt and pepper to taste.
Parsley
Scallions for garnish
Serves 4, or just me.

First, boil up them ‘taters and drain the water when they’re ‘fork split’ soft. Keep those hot guys on the side for a bit until they’re needed for their bacon bath. If you were a slacker and started boiling them just as your guests were walking in the door (it happens), then toss them in the freezer for a few minutes. Next, grab a big saucepan and fry the bacon. Once it gets nice and crispy, pull it out and crumble, keeping it on the side until you are ready to serve. Then, in that same bacony pan – leaving in about ½ of the drippings – set the stove to medium heat and cook the red onions for a few minutes. Finally, add in everything else. Make sure you slowly stir in the flour so that you don’t get lumps. Cook that big vinegary ooze down for 2-3 minutes and pour it over your potatoes like salad dressing (duh). Mix it up so that you get just a little bit of potato mash, but mostly chunks. Salt, pepper and then toss on some chopped parsley, sliced scallions, and the bacon crumbles on top. Boom: tangy no-mayo-Bacon-german-potato-salad.

Flank Faux Teryaki

While the Bacon potato salad was the result of my own cooking experiments, I grew up eating this stizeak all the time. It’s my mom’s recipe, but for all I know, she could have ganked it from good ‘ole Betty Crocker. I’m not really sure why I called it faux teriyaki, because, in fact, you are making real teriyaki sauce, but it certainly sounded cooler this way. It’s prolly because I was called a faux hipster last week, a comment I have still yet to fully comprehend because I am a preppy lawyer from Connecticut (ed. note – J, it was probably the fuckin faux-hawk you were rocking. Come on, dude.). Anyhow… Make sure you marinate the meat for at least 12 hours before you are ready to grill – it makes the steak really tender. Believe me, your friends will think you are a champion and hoist you above their shoulders if they can stand up after chowing down.

2 lbs of Flank Steak (.5 lbs / person)
1.5 cups soy sauce
2 tbs olive oil
4 tbs fresh ginger – minced
4 cloves garlic – minced
4 tbs sugar
Pinch of salt
A GRILL
Serves 4

Chop up the garlic and ginger and mix it in with everything else. Separate into two parts – 2/3 for marinade, the rest, set aside in your fridge for the sauce. Toss your flank in a pan, pour the marinade over it, cover it, put it in the fridge, have a drink, go to bed. In the morning, flip it over. When your friends finally come over, light up the grill, get it really hot, and then cook for apx. 4 min on each side (or however you like it). Let cool for 5 minutes and then slice into ¼” slices AGAINST the grain with a big-ass knife. Heat up the ‘sauce’ that you set aside and pour on top of the slices. Fine!

Thanks J for the food and the piece. Now, can you give us something on burritos? B and I got the cervesas.

Comments