Sally Sells Shellfish By The Seashore

Sally sells seafood by the seashore. I can say that easy. I can’t for the effing mother humpin life of me say “shellfish” before or after any other word. Can you? So, in tribute to shellfish and it’s tricky tax on my tongue, I offer a few food affiliated tongues ties right before I present you with a completely non sequitured recipe for steamed clams and mussels marinara. Mm-mm good.

If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where the fuck is the pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

A box of biscuits, a batch of mixed biscuits. (when my cousin little, he used refer to balls as biscuits and tell everyone he was going to kick em in the biscuits.)

Lily ladles little Letty’s nipple lentil soup.

Irish wristwatch. (ok, not food related but for some reason, but I like.)

Beer Steamed Clams with Shallots

1 lb of clams (you’re gonna freak at how cheap these shits are)
3 cloves of garlic, chopped
1 medium shallot, diced
2 tbl of butter and then 2 more later
1 light colored beer (probably wanna stay away from weiss and mikes hard lemonade, you ninnies)
some olive oil

In a large pot, throw in the first pat of butter and some olive oil. Add the garlic and shallot and cook till translucent. Add the beer and heat towards a boil. When hot, add the clams (which are scrubbed clean) and cover. Don’t pick up the lid, but shake a bit so all the clams get that butter beer love. The clams should steam for about 6 to 8 minutes. When they have all opened, remove them with a slotted spoon to a warm bowl. Turn up the heat and add the rest of the butter to the remaining liquid. If you used unsalted butter, add salt to taste. Whisk that shit for a few minutes till its cloudy. Pour over your clams and serve with crusty bread or fries.

Mussels Marinara

1 lb of mussels (again, cheap as great uncle george)
1 medium white union, chopped
3 garlic cloves, chopped
1 cup of white wine
1 large can of chopped tomato
fresh or dried oregano
fresh or dried thyme
red pepper flakes to taste
basil, chiffonned if you know what that means, chopped if you dont
some olive oil

In a large pot, heat your oil and the garlic and onion. Cook to translucent. Throw in the wine and reduce half. Add the tomatoes and herbs. Some salt and pepper and the red pepper flakes. Let cook for 5 minutes. Now throw in your scrubbed and de-bearded mussels. Cover and let steam for 8 to 10 minutes or until the mussels open. Toss on the basil. Do not eat the closed ones. You are going to be temped because they are delicious and the thought of throwing any away is going to hurt a little bit inside, but you must be strong.

Serve with bread or fries, wine or beer, ask for seconds. And why not? That shit cost you like 8 clams total.

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