Also? What about the whole “bottom feeder thing? Sure, they are at the bottom of the food chain, but what about the fact that they are delicious as all get out? Also, is there a big diff between eating this thing from the sea and eating salmon? Or tuna? Or chicken, for that matter? Or eggs? Where do you draw the line?! Let’s just start over with all the food rules and just remove cucumbers from the whole shebang. And bacon. Just kidding ya fucking hipsters! (I know yalls in gonna blast me next time I post about bacon.)

Anywho! B and I wanted to eat some crab. So we got some. And guess what? We can’t really pay our rent this month. So we are accepting donations in the form of cash or crab. If you are richer than us, I would suggest you eat this shmack every day of your beautiful life. If you are regular folk like us, treat yourself with a couple of them humongous legs and supplement with some tasty bread. Promise – it’s a perfect meal.

Also? Easy as pie. In fact, way easier than pie! No dough and shit. Just some crab legs, which we bought frozen, and then boiled in a large pot for 6 to 8 minutes. Take em out. Crack em. Eat em. Let the butter dribble down your chin in the sexiest way poss.

For the butter sauce, which as you can imagine is as important as anything:

1 stick of salted butter
3 cloves of garlic, pressed (or finely chopped)
1/2 cup of finely chopped parsley (I’m normally a flat leaf kinda girl, but for this we went USA all the way, and now I like! Don’t be afraid to get American-style anything, I promise you loving liberals, you will still be cool!)
1 lemon

Add the butter, garlic and parsley to a heavy, small sauce pot. Heat as low as possible so it slowly melts and mingles without burning. Serve straight out of the pot so that its stays warm. Serve your crab with squeezes of lemon. Then dip your crab, bread, fingers and any other sexy extremity into the butter and thank your momma for a butt like that.