I Was Probably Secretly Adopted from Asia

I swear, I should have been born in Korea or China or, or, Laos or something cause I love the gotdamn food. I probably don’t even cook Korean, Chinese or Laosean but think I do cause I eat the shmack with chop sticks. At least I’m self aware of my ignance.

Now that I’m a vagitarian (including no fish shticks), B and I gots to get creative with the cookin and the eatin. I can’t tell you how hard it is when I drink mama’s milk (vodka) and alls I wants to do is eat a burger slapped between two steaks. Oh well. Three more weeks or something totally impossible like that…

Anywho: Kimchi Rice with Broccoli, Sesame and Poached Egg

1 stalk and head of broccoli
olive oil, a bit
1/4 cup water
1 cup of cabbage based kimchi (spicy, if you nasty)
2 cups of cooked rice (sub with brown rice if youre feelin)
sesame seeds, to your desire
2 cage free, organic eggs, poached
soy or tamari
hot chile oil, a bit
sesame oil, oh, just a bit
scallions, sliced
sirachi, if you feel it
Serves 2 constantly hungry vegetarians.

Get your rice cooked and hot. While that’s working, lop the bottom of your broccoli stalk and then slice thinly up the base until you have slices and small florets. Heat your olive oil in a deep frying pan. When hot, add the broc and saute for a minute or two. Add the water and cover immediately so the broccoli finishes cooking via a good steam. After about 3 or 4 minutes, remove the cover and cook out the water. Now add your kimchi and saute all together until hot. Add sirachi until your desired spice.

Add your cooked rice to two eatin bowls. Garnish with soy to taste. Add a bit of chile oil. Top with the kimchi and broccoli mixture. Now the sesame seeds. Now the sesame oil. Now the poached eggs. Now the scallions (or as B likes to call them, scallios.)

Eat with chop sticks and hate on Miley Cirus for making fun of us. Bitch.

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