Archive for June, 2009

Ready, Set, Eat

B and I got Wii and I have been killin it in some mario kart. Sometimes I let him win, but only when I’m trying to get some. But I think our marioluigilove is carrying over in the kitchen cause wea makina somea pizza. Foreal this is easy when you buy the dough from whole foods or your local pizzaria. It’s like, forty cents and you gain a whole freaking day of not watching dough rise. Modernity at its best.

So we thought we would get some kitchen stadium action over in BK. Although there was no secret ingredient, we were going to have a winner. And if cooking was anything like driving a remote control video game, I was clearly going to win.

The Breakdown
5 points for originality
5 points for presentation
5 points for health
10 points for taste

And yes, he and I were both doing the cooking, the judging AND the eating. Guess who won. Just goes to blow ya, a woman’s place is in the kitchen.

Pizza of the Sea

My Big Fat Greek Pizza

Read more…

Buckwheat Bonanza

Soba Noodles are my schmack foreal. I have always been a noodle nut but thought I would leave those brown healthy buckwheat noodles to the same freaks that are trying to eat fat free cheese and grilled tofu breasts. Little did I know I had no idea what I was talking about. Doesn’t sound like me, does it.

So, during my failed vagitarian trial, I thought I would go full hog and eat some cardboard noodles. But alas, no cardboard up in here. AND simple as shit to enjoy.

You know what else makes me jealous about Japan? They sell these noodles on the street and in train stations. What a goddamn upgrade from NYC’s dirty water dog and pretzel bricks.

dscf2757

Soba Noodles
Dried noodles for 2
Soy sauce to taste (go quality here, Japanese style or even tamari sauce instead)
Some sesame oil
A dab of chili oil
Sirachi to taste

Boil the noodles according to the instructions on the package. Add to your eatin bowls and throw on your oils and sauces. Eat with chopsticks cause you feel much more cultured that way.

What else yall think I should eat with this?

Madder Dan Fish Grace

Fat Salad, But Oh So Delicious

What do you get when you combine a thirst from a hangover and a hunger from being a fat ass? Fat Salad. Fat Salad is a delicious wet and crunchy salad, layered with the meatiest, creamiest, endulgentiest morsels. You can really do it with anything. You may remember a little something called Something Meaty on Something Greeny? Yep, here we are again. And this time, I’m throwing on some egg yolk. Be forewarned, you will tear this mother up.

Oh, actual useful note: choose two of the three suggested highlighted items: shitakes, sopressata and asparagus. My rec is you do vagitarian OR the sopressata and the asparagus. Not that shitakes and sopressata are like Charlie and fingers, but I’m not sure they do anything for each other. Or not. Be all the fat you can be.

Fat Salad

Salad with Asparagus, Sopressata, Shitake Mushroom and Fried Egg

Salad greens for 2, prob something not too strong like mesclun
Sopressata, sliced in strips. you can also use a high quality salami, etc.
1 tbs salted butter
6 large, fresh shitake caps
15 ish stalks of asparagus
Tad bit of olive oil
4 eggs
Fresh pepper
Olive oil for garnish
Serves 2.

Slice your mushroom caps. Heat a skillet with butter. Yeah – I said butter. Toss in the shrooms and saute until soft and buttery. While cooking, put a small pot of salted water on to boil. Trim your asparagus stalks and cut in half. Put your greens on your plate – this shit is going to move fast. After your pork product is sliced, beautifully distribute over the greens. At this point, your shrooms are probably done and your water is probably boiling. Set the mushrooms aside and toss in a bit of olive into the same pan. Over medium to high heat, crack your eggs for a good fry up. The goal is to produce a quick cook of the whites with a crunchy outside, while maintaining a yolky middle.

As soon as you crack your eggs, throw your asparagus in the boiling water. Let em blanch for 60 seconds. At this point, your eggs are probably ready too. Crack some pepper over them bad boys. Now we layer.

On the lettuce and sopressata, put the mushrooms. Then the asparagus. The the eggs. Drizzle just a tiny ass bit of olive on the outer leaves that didnt get blessed by the delicious juices from your hot shit.

Best bite: yolky lettuce and sopressata

I ate this with 2 vodka sodas. Not a bad idea to include. Just sayin.

I Was Probably Secretly Adopted from Asia

I swear, I should have been born in Korea or China or, or, Laos or something cause I love the gotdamn food. I probably don’t even cook Korean, Chinese or Laosean but think I do cause I eat the shmack with chop sticks. At least I’m self aware of my ignance.

Now that I’m a vagitarian (including no fish shticks), B and I gots to get creative with the cookin and the eatin. I can’t tell you how hard it is when I drink mama’s milk (vodka) and alls I wants to do is eat a burger slapped between two steaks. Oh well. Three more weeks or something totally impossible like that…

Anywho: Kimchi Rice with Broccoli, Sesame and Poached Egg

kimchi rice with broccoli and poached egg

1 stalk and head of broccoli
olive oil, a bit
1/4 cup water
1 cup of cabbage based kimchi (spicy, if you nasty)
2 cups of cooked rice (sub with brown rice if youre feelin)
sesame seeds, to your desire
2 cage free, organic eggs, poached
soy or tamari
hot chile oil, a bit
sesame oil, oh, just a bit
scallions, sliced
sirachi, if you feel it
Serves 2 constantly hungry vegetarians.

Get your rice cooked and hot. While that’s working, lop the bottom of your broccoli stalk and then slice thinly up the base until you have slices and small florets. Heat your olive oil in a deep frying pan. When hot, add the broc and saute for a minute or two. Add the water and cover immediately so the broccoli finishes cooking via a good steam. After about 3 or 4 minutes, remove the cover and cook out the water. Now add your kimchi and saute all together until hot. Add sirachi until your desired spice.

Add your cooked rice to two eatin bowls. Garnish with soy to taste. Add a bit of chile oil. Top with the kimchi and broccoli mixture. Now the sesame seeds. Now the sesame oil. Now the poached eggs. Now the scallions (or as B likes to call them, scallios.)

Eat with chop sticks and hate on Miley Cirus for making fun of us. Bitch.