It. Has. Been. So. Long. Since I cooked and wrote. But here is why: I was goddamn busy; get off my back.

I have an announcement to make. I’m going vagitarian. Oops. I mean VEGitarian. No Sam Ronson for me. Now I know, it’s like you’re saying to yourself, “What a dumb hoe. How she gonna write this stupid blog called Go MEAT Yourself and not eat meat? I aughta slap her”.

But here is the thing. Meat is dirty. I just read a book that freaked me the fuck out SO, I’m going vag. For 4 weeks. Then I’m back riding my meat wave to the pulled pork in the sky. D Day is after Memorial Day weekend BBQs. Watch out for this hoe cause I may be cranky for not getting my double daily dose of the meats. And? Fish is included. Yalls going to get so much freaking tofu and quinoa and goat cheese and bean recipes, you’re gonna fart by just reading this bitch.

T minus 25 days to fill up the gullet as much as possible on the lamb shanks, cheeseburgers, hanger steaks, bacon, salami, pork belly, pastrami and rye, corned beef hash, hot dogs, gyros, chicken wings, turkey mayo sammies, roast beef like a mo, smoked turkey legs, chicken salad, pulled pork, ribs, salmon steaks, tuna steaks, swordfish steaks, broiled shimps, boiled shrimp, shrimps rolls, fish tacos, mussels, clams, crabs, lobsters and straight. up. steak.

Cry for me argentina cause you know I’m gonna be hungry. Until then, send me your suggestions on how not to starve.