Archive for December, 2008

For the Spirit of the Noodle, I Give You Ramenism

What makes your mouth water? For some it’s pickles, for others it’s burgers. For me it’s both those things AND spicy noodle soup. Either of these three items would cause me to do a diddy if I could eat them all day long without getting to be a total fat ass.

When I found out how easy it is to enhance the 10 cent ramen from your college days, I made it at least once a week. I have now ventured into making it from a soup base with fresh(ish) noodles. Next will be homemade stock. Watch out David Chang, I’m either going to eventually out-ramen your ass, or maybe just come to your restaurant. But you’ll have to roll me out. There!

Anyway, here is a recipe for deliciousness. If you have never cooked anything before, you should start with this.

Ramen with Roast Pork, Mushroom and Poached Egg

1.5 c of ramen soup base (find this in the Spanish/Chinese section of your grocery)
5 c of water
2 inches of fresh ginger, very thinly sliced
one jalapeno, very thinly sliced
8 fresh shitake mushrooms
1 tbs of butter
1 cup of cooked roast pork
3 scallions, sliced
1 egg
your favorite asian noodle: udon, ramen, rice, up to you
kimchi for garnish
sirachi for extra fire mouth
This serves two.

Bring a big pot of water to boil for your noodles. You will also be using this boiling water for poaching the egg but more on that later.

I would really recommend you pause in your sheffin and go buy a mandolin right now. The mandolin has become the love of my kitchen life. But, if you are really not going to do that, grab your jalapeno and ginger and slice the shit out of them – you want them really thin. If you slice really thinly, you can get away without peeling the ginger. Combine the soup base and water in a medium sauce pan and add the ginger and jalapeno. Put on a slow to medium heat.

When the water for your noodles starts to boil, add the noodles.

Remove the stems from your mushrooms and slice. In a small sauce pan, add a tablespoon of butter and a bit of olive oil. Saute the mushrooms until soft. Set aside.

As your soup stock is simmering and your noodles are cooking, cut your scallions, heat your pork if it isn’t already, and get out your eggs and kimchi. I make my kimchi myself. It isn’t entirely traditionally but easy as shit. Check it here.

When your scallion is cut, and your pork is warm and your kimchi is no longer cold from from sitting in the fridge, maybe your noodles are ready, depending on the noodle you are working with. You are going to have to judge that for yourself. When they are done, it’s about moving quickly to assemble your bowl.

When the noodles are done, don’t drain – grab them with a tong and put them in the serving bowl. Add the broth to the noodles. Keep the water from the noodles boiling and very gently crack two eggs into the water. While those cook for 2.5 minutes, add the scallion, pork, mushroom, and kimchi to the soup bowl in pretty little clumps. Leave room for the egg. After 2.5 minutes, with a slotted spoon, carefully take each egg out of the water and add to the bowls. You are looking for a solid egg white but a soft yoke. It will be hard to tell but you’ll get better with practice. Swear.

Serve your ramen with sirachi sauce for the freaks and pop a beer cause this one is hot and spicy.

When you are ready to eat, crack your eggs with chop sticks and with each bite, swirl your noodles through the yoke. This will be the best bit of food you ever done had.

Jacques Torres Eat Shit, I’m Your Chocolate Jesus Now

I’ve been doing the chocolate thing now for about a year and I still can’t get enough. I don’t eat it but I loves making it for people. B and I went to The Fancies for dinner the other night so I thought I would bring a box of chocolates for dessert. Making the chocolates is fun, but making the box for them to go in is possibly funner. Watch me get martha stewart on your ass.

This one is Salted Mixed Nuts.

This is Italian Cookie. I use hazelnut wafers which add a whole crunchy, yet airy element.

I love the haters when it comes to this one: Sea Salt. First of all, its the best looking, plus, its’ the unexpected that I love so. Salt and sweet go together like Britney and Cheetos, like coke and poopin, like me and stoli. It’s not new. It’s keeping it real.

This here is Cayenne. I’d like to think I invented this but as it turns out, I’m just ignant and everyone and their butt mixes cayenne and chocolate. Anyway, it’s good. Some times I add bacon to this one.

This is the box I made like it was friggin arts and crafts time at your local hipster throw-up-in-my-mouth bar.

Now look, I know life isn’t always flowers and sausages and we don’t all have time to be everything to everyone. So, I’m taking orders to make them for you. I got a few in line so place your orders early if you want a box. Order here.