Archive for November, 2008

By Jessica | November 30, 2008 | Main Courses, Recipes | No comments

You know how you get those urges to roast meat when its cold outside? Or when you are hungry? Or how your mouth starts to water when you think about tender meat falling off the bone and then saliva is dripping down your chin but you dont notice. No. No, you dont. Cause you got meat on the mind…

Oh, hello. Anyway, I had one of those urges recently and thought that a good whole chicken should get a good ol roast in my kitchen. If you have never done this before, do it soon. It is cheap and easy and warmed the cockles of B’s heart. I also made up some spaghetti squash and tostones for a full frontal meal. Plus, you can use whatever is your flavor of the month cause chicken is your blank canvas ready suck up what ever you put in it. I have been feeling the northern african spices lately. I dont even know if its accurate to call them that, but maybe? Check it.

Whole Roasted Chicken with North African Spices

1 whole chicken
5 garlic cloves, finely chopped
2 tsp red pepper flakes
2 tsp cayenne powder
2 tsp paprika
1 tsp cumin
.5 tsp coriander
half stick of salted butter
3 lemons
1 cup of chicken broth

In a small bowl using a fork, combine the garlic, spices and butter to make a paste. Use most of the paste to rub on the outside of the entire chicken, making sure to also get underneath the skin of the breasts. Slam a chunk into the cavity as well. And people, this is 101 here, but please remove the bag of guts that comes with the chicken. Oh, and chicken 102 is that you need to tie the wings and legs together or to the body so they dont burn. I thought using B’s shoelaces was in bad taste, literally, so I wrapped some tin foil around them bad boys and BAM, that bird was done tied.

Cut your lemons in half and give them a light squeeze inside the bird. Shove as many of the squeezed halves inside the cavity that will fit. Pour the broth into your roasting pan and youre ready to cook.

Bake at 350 degrees until your thermometer reads the breast meat at 170. It is done when it reaches 175 but it will continue to cook after you pull it out the oven so taking it out a few degrees before will ensure a moist AND salmonella free bird. Also take care when using the thermometer that it isnt touching bone. Depending on your birds size and how shit your oven is, it will probably take from 45 minutes to an hour and a half. If you do all this, you’ll get this:

When the chicken came out the oven, B carved that shit (yeah, so what, I know it is 2008 and but I like seeing my man carve a bird I just cooked. AND I was in heels. (yeah right))

By Jessica | November 26, 2008 | Recipes, Snackin, Salads and Apps | 7 Comments

Tostones are what I like to call the puerto rican french fry. It stared out as a healthy vegetable, but with enough human intervention, it developed into a salty, crispy accompaniment doused in hot sauce or fresh garlic.

Tostones are made from green plantains which look like massive hard green bananas. If you buy them ripened, soft and brown, you’ll fry up what is called platanos, which takes a different cooking process, turn out as a different shape, and are mushy and super sweet. No gracias. I much prefer its savory sibling any day.

Tostones are good to eat with almost anything, so next time you are making something that would go well with french fries, try making it with tostones instead. Your guests and stomach will say Te amo tanto usted hijo – de – a – perra.

Tostones
2 plantains
veg oil for frying
salt to taste
Serves two.

To peel the plantains, take a knife down the length until it just gets to the meat. Make another slit on the opposite side. Peel the leaves off taking care not to break them. The leaves will soon become your down-ass tool. Slice the plantains into 1 inch chunks and throw in a bowl of cool salted water for 10 minutes.

Throw some oil into a deep frying pan at about half an inch high. When very hot, use a tong to take the sliced plantains out of the water, dab on a paper towel to remove excess water and set in pan. Reserve the bowl of water for later a use. You should be able to get all your pieces in. Slightly brown on all sides. When done, place the plantains on a plate lined with brown paper or paper towel.

Here is the fun part. You are going to smash the slices into flattened disks using the leaves, which will make you feel like you want to run bare nekkid through El Yunque. Just something about using the whole fruit in your cooking process that is so down home.

You’ll get the hang of a good smash after a couple but you really want them to a precise thickness. Too thick and they will be mealy and under cooked. Too thin and they will be oily and fall apart. When smashed, throw them back in the bowl of water for 4 minutes.

When 4 minutes is up, throw them back in the frying pan for another few until they are a beautifully golden brown. When done, put them on fresh paper and salt immediately. Serve right away.

These go great with any food you might want to soak up some shlop with or cocktail sauce (ketchup and horseradish) or olive oil with finely chopped raw garlic or with tobasco.

Stay tuned for recipes for Baked Chicken with North African Spices and Spaghetti Squash, which is what I served this shmack with.

By Jessica | November 21, 2008 | Recipes, Snackin, Salads and Apps | 4 Comments

It was a friend’s birthday recently so we decided to give a peck of pickled perfection. The tasty treat was a trifecta of Bob McClures Spicy Dill, Rick’s Pick’s Mean Beans, and JJ’s Homemade Tried and True Super Tested Fire Butt Kimchi (that’s the new name). Check my recipe for the least traditional kimchi you ever done heard of. But, for any of those losers that think they don’t like kimchi, give em my version and they’ll be thanking you for turning their ignance around in a big way.

Kimchi is a typical korean condiment eaten with many a meal. Generally it’s fermented cabbage, pickled with rice vinegar, sirachi, ginger, scallion, and/or garlic. I’ve also had this with daikon or radish instead of the cabbage, maybe it’s called something else, don’t know. All are great. But for mines, I’m not trying to use garlic, and I don’t ferment the cabbage, and I added extra cayenne pepper just to make sure my mouth burns when I eat it.

Oh, AND? I make huge amounts at a time. It’s really cheap to make and lasts forever. Kimchi can be eaten as a snack, condiment, garnish, and depending on spice level, a dare.

1 small white cabbage
rice wine vinegar
fresh ginger, finely diced
1 bunch of scallion, sliced to the top
Sirachi to taste
cayenne pepper to taste, I use about 3 tbs.
the largest size mason jar

Quarter the cabbage with a slice through the stem. Each quarter should have a piece of the center stem which you need to cut out and toss. Proceed to dice the cabbage into big bites. Cut your ginger and scallion. After everything is cut, begin to layer the cabbage with the scallion and the ginger in your large mason jar. Ideally you are looking for an even distribution of the three ingredients cause you won’t be able to stir the shiv once it’s in. Pack your cabbage tight. (pervert) There is more room in there than you think.

Now please forgive me for really inaccurate measurements. It’s hard to give precise measurements for this recipe because everyone is going to have slightly different amounts of liquid depending on how much cabbage you shoved in there, how much of the other ingredients you want, how pickled you want it to be, how spicy you want your ass, etc. You get me? But no worries, you can’t eff this up. Generally mix about 3 cups of vinegar with 1 cup of water and a quarter cup of sirachi. Mix well and pour into the jar. If you need more brine, create another batch with the same ratio. If you want extra spicy kimchi like this sweet baadasssss here, play with the amount of sirachi and/or add cayenne pepper. That’s what I do every time.

This is going to be ready to eat in about a day.

By Jessica | November 19, 2008 | Main Courses, Other People's Recipes, Recipes | 4 Comments

I realize that I have been a fat ass in the making since I was little. On playdates, friends would come over and play cooking. All my first jobs were centered around food, from manning a bakery to making cupcakes (ok, i didn’t actually get PAID for that). Some of the funnest and most hormone-inducing jobs were always as a waitress. The fanciest and possibly the most deliciousest (?) restaurant job I had was at this bougie place in rochester ny called the rio bamba. Buttery and frenchy, this food was at a level of upscale tastiness that all Rochester restaurants would strive to be. But please.

Since moving on from the rio, I have made one of their signature dishes oh, maybe, 8, 9 hundred times. It’s too good, healthy and easy not to make this meal everyday. You should make this for someone cause they will think you are cool.

The original recipe calls for tuna, but I don’t eat tuna anymore (something really gamey to me, but by all means, go for it) so I substituted the fish with a sea bass – I know, so not politically correct. I have done this with swordfish before which I think is my fave. Also, chef made this with isreali couscous which is the same couscous you and I know, except it’s enormous balls instead of tiny ones. I prefer the standard couscous size cause it soaks up the sauce which is mamma’s milk foreal. Eat this.

Soy and Citrus Sea Bass Over Couscous

1/4 cup soy sauce or tamari (tamari is just the same as soy, just a higher quality with less sodium)
1/4 cup of fresh lime juice
1/8 cup of olive oil
1 leek
2 servings of Sea Bass, Tuna, Swordfish, or your favorite fish, but not salmon
2 servings of cooked couscous
olive oil or butter for frying
Serves 2.

Combine the first 3 ingredients. Slice the leeks and add to the sauce. Stir well. Heat your olive oil (or butter) in a frying pan. When hot, place the fish skin side down. When the fish can move a bit in the pan, it’s ready to flip. It’s done when you can stick a knife in it without any resistance. (Thanks, Bittman.) When the couscous is ready, plate, put the fish on top, add the leeks on top of the fish and pour the sauce over everything. So. Easy.

By Jessica | November 14, 2008 | Recipes, Snackin, Salads and Apps | 1 Comment

There’s nothing like taking a fresh, healthy, god-given vegetable and frying the shit out of it. Turn that mother into a warm, crispy, slightly spicy shnack. I was on the hunt for green tomatoes to fry up but being totally out of season, I found none. Instead, I have been seeing these purple tomatoes at my local fruit and veg and thought, let’s try that, fug it. And you know what? It worked the hell out. It turns out these beauties are called cherokee purple tomatoes. I was as surprised to find out these date back to pre-colony days as my college financial aid officer was when I claimed the same. Try this very simple recipe which comes from down home southern cooking – I mean, you saw the movie, right?

Fried Purple Tomatoes

1 cup of flour
1 cup of cornmeal
4 tomatoes
salt to taste
veg oil for frying
tobasco sauce for garnish
Serves 4 for apps.

Since these tomatoes are about the size of a black plum, you can thinly slice the stem end and the bottom so you have 2 open ends. Now cut the remaining into 3 thick slices. Mix the flour and cornmeal well in a small shallow bowl or plate. Drag the tomatoes in the flour and cornmeal mixture until completely coated.

Heat oil in a frying pan. Oil should come above the sides of the tomato slices – you are going to have to add more than you are probably used to. But people, don’t be scared, these tomatoes aren’t meant to be sauted like some delicate flower, these are straight up fried. Make up for it by eating a tofu wrap tomorrow if you feel bad.

Heat oil in a frying pan. When a sprinkle of water sizzles in the oil, add your tomatoes. When you can nudge the tomatoes with a spatula, check for browning on the bottom. When they turn a golden brown, flip. Do the same to the remaining side. When both sides are golden, remove and place on a plate lined with brown paper or paper towel and let the extra oil drain out. Salt immediately. Serve with a big ol bottle of tobasco.

OMG, YOU HAVE TO CHECK THIS OUT!

By Jessica | November 7, 2008 | Main Courses, Recipes, Snackin, Salads and Apps | No comments

Bought these reebs at the fantastic Great Wall Supermarket for like, 4 cents. B and I were licking chops for days on 4 cents. One reason this beef is so cheap though is cause it has mo fat on it. After I cooked it, I had to cut bits of the gooey/crunchy fat off and hide from B so he wouldn’t chew on it. One reason why this beef is so good though is cause it has mo fat on it. I was totally snacking on the gooey/crunchy fat bits as I was cutting them off before serving to B.

The basic tenets of asian beef ribs include brown sugar and soy sauce and then whatevs you want. Then, marinate, broil, cut, snack. Finger lickin good. This simple recipe ended up being pretty good cause they were sweet but also garlicky which is a good combo. Trust me, you gonna wanna eat more than one. Check it.

Asian Style Broiled Beef Ribs
1/2 cup of brown sugar
1/4 cup of tamari
5 cloves of garlic, minced
7 strips of asian style beef ribs
Serves 2 as an schnack.

Mix your first 3 ingredients together to make a paste. Rub on all sides of your beef ribs. Let marinate for at least an hour. Layout on a cookie sheet and slide into your broiler. Cook for 8 minutes on one side and 4 on the other. Remove and cut in between the bones. I served this in a bowl alongside Ginger Lime Shrimp. Stay tuned for that.